“If you own this story you get to write the ending.”
– Brené Brown
Today’s quote is from American professor and researcher Brené Brown.
Are there parts of your life that you do your best to hide from the world? Most of us have them. We hold onto things that we feel ashamed of, so we can stop them leaking out into spaces where other people can see them.
The thing is, we can’t go back and change the past and how we got to where we are today. Our options are limited to the stories we tell ourselves about what happened. They can be empowering, or disempowering, but we get to make the choice.
Think about one of those things that you hide from the world. What story do you tell yourself about it? If you feel the need to hide it, it’s probably a story from the disempowering end of the spectrum.
Several years ago, I went through a divorce. It was a difficult process, as is the nature of such a life event. I felt the full gamut of emotions over that time, and after; relief, embarrassment, sadness, optimism, fear etc. For a long time I felt like maybe there was something I should have done differently, to avoid going down that path. I wondered how I could have ended up in such a predicament. I lost faith in my ability to make decisions about people and my life in general.
The stories I told myself during this time were not very empowering for the most part. I didn’t want to take responsibility for my own choices, and I was self-conscious about the fact that my life hadn’t gone to plan.
Over the years, as I had time to reflect, and some distance from the separation, I gained more perspective and began to own what happened as an important, and empowering, part of my journey.
At some point I realised that without going through what I’ve been through I wouldn’t be the person I am now. I’m still not the person I ultimately want to be (and I hope I never will be, so I always have room to grow) but I am much more compassionate and loving, and a whole lot less judgemental than I was 10 years ago. Instead of letting my divorce define me, I can acknowledge it as an essential part of my story and have gratitude for both the relationship as well as the amazing life I have created post-divorce.
I can say without a doubt that I would not be writing this post if I was still married! The ending I’m writing is the one I choose, and I hope you’ll be brave enough to choose yours too. ❤️
If you haven’t watched Brené’s Netflix special The Call to Courage, I highly recommend you check it out!
How can you start taking ownership of your story?
Have a wonderful week!
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